Autism needn’t stop kids making friends
Caroline Slater and daughter Megan Slater, who suffers from Autism, taking part in a befriending scheme pictured at home in Hampton Vale. Picture: Paul Franks/Peterborough ET
By Ann Molyneux-Jackson
Published on Thursday 18 August 2011 16:48
CHILDREN with autism can miss out on activities or hobbies many youngsters take for granted because they find it difficult to socialise, this is where a new befriending scheme comes in. Ann Molyneux-Jackson reports:
GOING to the cinema, ten pin bowling, cooking and playing with her Wii and X-Box are some of Megan Slater’s favourite pastimes.
But because the 12-year-old has Asperger syndrome she finds it harder than most to socialise with other people and it’s not easy for her to take part in activities beyond her own front door.
This may all change in the next few weeks and months however, as Megan’s 41-year-old mum Caroline has signed up for a new befriending scheme run by the National Autism Society in Peterborough.
Megan has now become the first person to be matched with a suitable volunteer.
Single mum Caroline, who lives with her daughter in Elderflower Way, Hampton Vale, Peterborough, is hoping that spending time with someone outside of her own family, taking part in hobbies and activities she enjoys, will enrich Megan’s life.
Her new friend Lianne Riddy also has Asperger syndrome so will not only be able to understand what Megan is going through but will also be able to give her mum an insight into what life is like for her daughter.
“It will enable her to go out in the community with someone who is not family and she will be able to go shopping for birthday presents and Christmas presents for me because she can’t go out on her own to do that at the moment,” said Caroline.
“She will also be able to go to the cinema without having me with her and ten pin bowling.
“I pay for anything they do where there is any cost involved but there are plenty of things they can do for free like going to the park.
“It will enable Megan to gain some social interaction and because the lady who is befriending her also has Asperger’s I can say to her, ‘Megan is going through this at the moment, what should I do?
“It will give me an insight into how Megan is feeling from someone who has Asperger’s and is now an adult.”
During the first meeting, Megan and her befriender Lianne will be doing some cooking but in the next few weeks they are likely to decide between them what they want to do or where they want to go.
“The befriending service will match people as closely as they can so they both get enjoyment out of it and it means the befriender is not doing something they don’t like just because the child likes it and vice versa,” said Caroline.
For Caroline, respite from taking care of Megan will bring some much-needed “me-time” when she can take up salsa dancing and perhaps an evening class to learn a new language.
“Rather than thinking I can’t do that because I have got Megan with me, I can go out and widen my social network,” said Caroline.
“It has opened up an opportunity that I wouldn’t otherwise have.
“Even if it is just going down to the local pub for a drink.”
Caroline found out about the befriending scheme at an information event held by the National Autistic Society in Peterborough and filled in an application form.
As a result, Megan has become the first child to be matched to a volunteer.
“The reason I’ve done this is because social services won’t give me any help,” said Caroline.
“I’ve been asking them for respite care for the last 18 months and they just say they don’t offer it.
“The only people who have done anything for me are the National Autistic Society.”
Megan was diagnosed with Asperger syndrome with dyspraxia and sensory modulation difficulties at the beginning of July, last year.
“I’d known for quite a few years that something was not quite right but the special needs co-ordinator at her primary school said there was nothing wrong with her.
“She started at Hampton College last September and one of the teachers spotted something was wrong and we went to the GP.
“She has shut downs where she totally switches off, she is listening but she will not acknowledge that she is listening to what we are saying, then she goes to the opposite extreme and can be quite violent.”
For the first few meetings, Megan, Lianne and Caroline will all be present at the family home.
“I have to make sure I’m happy with Lianne before Megan can go out with her but she seems like a lovely lady,” said Caroline.
As someone who has Asperger syndrome herself, 24-year-old Lianne appears to be an ideal match for Megan.
She was diagnosed at the age of ten and admits to being bullied throughout her school years.
“The befriending scheme is something I wish I’d had when I was Megan’s age because I didn’t have many friends, although I did have a twin sister Natasha, who doesn’t have Aspergers,” said Lianne. “The National Autistic Society have been brilliant but they wouldn’t have had funding to do anything like this when I was younger.”
Lianne, who has worked as an administrative assistant for the BGL Group in Bretton, Peterborough, for five years, added: “From my experience people with autism don’t tend to have many friends and tend to spend a lot of time with their parents. They don’t get the chance to spend time with other people.”
She believes that having Asperger’s herself will help her to understand Megan.
“I have been through it, I’ve been there and done that so it does give me an insight but she’s different from me, people with Asperger’s are not all the same.
“You do tend to offload everything onto the people who are caring for you and maybe Megan will be able to offload onto me as well. I’m hoping that I can help her.”
Lianne believes that having similar interests will be just as important in their friendshiop.
“I like the same things as her but apparently she is a whizz kid on the computer so I’ve told her she’ll have to show me what to do,” she added.
How to get involved with the scheme
IT is just four months since the befriending scheme was set up by the National Autistic Society to help youngsters in Peterborough.
The scheme is being run in partnership with Peterborough City Council with Aiming High funding which pays for short breaks and respite care for children and teenagers up to the age of 18.
Volunteers are matched with families with children with autism on an ideal match rather than a first come first served basis.
The distance the volunteer would have to travel to see the youngster is taken into account and they are generally matched with people who have similar hobbies and interests.
Volunteers don’t need to have any previous knowledge of autism as they will have full training and CRB checks are carried out and references taken.
Children with autism whose behaviour is extremely challenging are excluded from the scheme and volunteers are not involved with personal care.
They need to give two hours a week but when is fairly flexible, it can be any day, or any evening, whatever suits the volunteer and the family best.
“The volunteers will come into the family home or take the child out and about in the community,” said National Autistic Society befriending and mentoring coordinator Laura Clark.
“If the child is a football mad little boy we will match him with someone who likes football or the volunteer can play board games or Lego with them or take them to the cinema or bowling to give the family some respite.
“The volunteers enable them to access more opportunities.
“They can go along to Brownies or Scouts and other things within the community with them.”
Laura added: “Children with autism and teenagers in particular struggle to make friends and this scheme takes them out into the community with someone who is not mum or dad.
“The youngsters can also struggle with social skills and this helps to increase these.
“They may not have travelled on a bus before or been in McDonalds, it encourages them to get out and about in the local community.”
Volunteers have to be aged 17 or over, need to live within the Peterborough City Council area and are expected to give a year’s commitment to the scheme.
“It takes a while to build up relationships and to allow time for that relationship to grow,” said Laura.
“The befriender can also end up being involved with the whole family to help them to access events as a family.
“They can act as an extra pair of hands so the family can do things like, go to a farm park, with siblings.
“The volunteer goes as well and can support the child with autism.
“Children with autism can be very demanding and this scheme provides them with respite care so they can spend time with siblings.”
So far six volunteers have been trained and the role is already appealing to a diverse range of people, nursing students from Anglia Ruskin University, who are based in the city, among them.
“We are holding another training course at the beginning of October and are hoping to recruit more volunteers,” said Laura.
“It would also be good for students and people looking to work with children with special needs.”
As well as looking for more volunteers, Laura is also compiling a list of families who want to get involved in the scheme with the help of the children’s services department at Peterborough City Council and social workers.
For more information about the befriending scheme, look at the website
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